Sequel to my last article, where I mentioned three keys to marital success, find below four additional keys that can also help to attain success in marriage:
1. Avoid Comparison
Every marriage and union is uniquely different. Each marriage is made up of two different individuals with differing backgrounds, personalities, temperaments, exposures, values, training and upbringing.
So, comparing your marriage with another is like comparing apples and oranges; it is unfair and unrealistic.
You should learn to accept the uniqueness of your union and what you share with your spouse.
Comparison tends to highlight the inadequacies in your marriage which is likely to create friction between couples.
2. Mutual Understanding
Both partners in a marriage should be willing to understand and accommodate each other’s strengths, weaknesses, personality, values and beliefs. A good understanding of your partner gives room for forgiveness and tolerance as you understand his/her person and can easily predict their reactions before it happens.
3. Communication:
There must be an open line of communication between couples to achieve marital success.
Communication is one of the most important steps to conflict resolution. Couples should resolve to always keep their communication lines open even when there is a disagreement or physical distance.
There should be no malice or one-line of communication as talking eases tension and consequently results in the resolution of conflicts.
4. Have an Authority Figure:
Every individual is a work in progress and as such disagreement among couples is inevitable. This is why it is important that couples have an authority figure who can mediate objectively and without bias.
An authority figure is a mentor or counsellor whose authority the couple have jointly agreed to submit to, it could be an individual or a couple.
When choosing an authority figure, couples should take the following into consideration
- It should not be a family member as they tend to be sentimental and take sides.
- It should be a figure/couple that the couple jointly respect, admire and agree to submit to.
- It should be someone whose value system compliments theirs.
- He/she must be frank and objective.
Authority figures can be a marriage counsellor, a pastor, a couple whose marriage you admire etc. It is important if you are prayerfully led.
My goal is to help you achieve sexual fulfilment & marital success.
Femi Olaitan.
Blessings Always!