🙋♂ How dare you talk to me like that? You will not talk to me like that?
If this question sounds familiar, please read further😀
Answering back often known as backchat (things like I don’t want to; why should I?; No, I am not doing that, and so on), arguing when you ask them to do something and rudeness often top the list of behaviors that parents and caregivers of tweens and teens have issues with.
When we were small, the simple most common response to backchat is a dirty, deafening thunder-striking slap or a parent waking you up with severe beating at midnight.😂
➡️So, I said to my tween-age girl, go and do the dishes now and she responded No mum, later blah blah blah…and of course, I was angry and shouted. ‘You shut up; you don’t talk to me that way. and she responded; mum, ‘Why now, I am not trying to be rude, I am just expressing myself’., My response of course was my word is final, obey before complaining. Even if you have to express yourself it must be done politely.
🚨 Back chatting (also called back talk, or talking back) and arguing is universal – all children do it at some point. And all parents hate it!
🚨It could be annoying and at times infuriating but it’s a common side effect of growing up and gaining independence. It is enough to make any level-headed parent’s blood boil. Seen more in tweens and teens.
🚨In broad terms, backchat is rude remarks made when answering someone in authority. It means to respond in a disputative, often sarcastic manner.
🚨So how do we draw the line, we can’t slap and beat children anyhow ( is someone saying you are not talking to me🤪 ).
🚨Do we allow them to keep expressing themselves rudely? How do you know if backtalk is something you have to address or if it’s just your child’s normal progression toward independence?
🚨For this, you can apply the “litmus test” question… ”Would it be okay for your child to respond in the same way in front of your friends, families, and co-workers”?
🚨 In most cases, the answer is “No” and that tells us we have to be PROACTIVE in correcting the backchat. You need to apply your brake there.
➡️And if your child is still small or has never done that, you need to be equipped to handle it when your child wants to start expressing themselves.
📕That same scripture we quoted last week but in another version says; Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.*Proverbs 22:6
🙏God will help us; we will not fail in our responsibilities.
💃🏽 Watch out for the conclusion next week.🤔
Good morning
Deliberate Mothers
Dr Titi OLAITAN