Sequel to our conversation last week, we will be discussing what men want.
1. RESPECT
Contrary to popular belief, respect is more important to men than sex, money, food, etc. This has less to do with being African and more to do with the wiring of men. Men want to feel validated, respected, appreciated, and treated like royalty.
While sex, money, achievements, and goal-getting are important, they’re used to driving and demanding respect. Once there is disrespect, it becomes difficult to have a discussion or even the attention of a man. Wives are advised to inject a measure of value and respect when relating with their husbands. This does not reduce the value or honor of the woman in the home rather it ensures that the respect is reciprocated.
Your respect for your husband should not be based on his current financial status. Men have often cited disrespect as a justification for infidelity. When a man doesn’t feel like royalty in his home, he searches for validation outside, often in the arms of strange women.
This is the major reason why God told men to love their wives and women to submit to their husbands. Submission is a language of respect and honour.
2. EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
It is often assumed that women are more emotional than men. However, in reality, men are also emotional but less likely to express them. Most cultures and traditions expect men to have better control of their emotions, be more macho and not cry. This is often misinterpreted as a lack of emotions. However, men want attention, affirmation, support, praise, to be cherished and valued. They want these from their wives, family, and loved ones both in words and actions.
Sometimes, these validations serve as a beacon of hope and a source of healing especially when they’re going through trying times. As the head of the home, expectations and responsibilities are placed on him and the best way to support him is to provide verbal and emotional support via the connection you share with him as a wife. Please note that this is beyond giving him sex. Simple words like “I love you”, “The kids and I value and cherish you”, and “we appreciate you” will go a long way to boost their morale.
A relatable example is when a couple is expectant for the fruit of the womb. A lot of attention and support is given to the wives and the husbands are expected to be strong for both of them. It’s easy to forget that the man also has emotions and is also feeling the same anxiety and burden and therefore needs encouragement and support.
3. SEX
Sex is not a weapon or tool to manipulate your husband. There might be times when the wife may not be able to provide sex due to circumstances beyond her control (health, fatigue, etc). However, where there is no valid reason, it is scripturally wrong to deprive your husband of sex. Even when they’re fatigued, men also need sex to rejuvenate and regain energy.
You will achieve success in your marriage in JESUS NAME.
I am always within your reach to assist on this journey.
My goal is to help you achieve sexual fulfillment & marital success.
Femi Olaitan.
Blessings Always!